Apparently the morning news program is having a slow day. Here I am with breakfast just behind me and curious as to what's going on in the world today. So I flip on ye yonder tele and what do I see? Some overpaid network schmuck giving an interview with some other overpaid shmuck from ESPN extolling the virtues of "competitive eating." As if there weren't enough outlets for otherwise talentless boobs (reality television, NASCAR and world championship poker come to mind), apparently you now can be awarded a shiny crystal trophy for being able to cram the most hot dogs, french fries, or similar barely-food-item into yourself in the least amount of time.

I'm only going to say this once:

THIS IS NOT A SPORT. IT NEVER WILL BE.

Whatever faith I had in the human race is rapidly evaporating.

End of line.